Jared and Jack always come home every second or third weekend arriving on a Friday then leaving late Sunday afternoon, depending on their calendar and ours and arrive home via their carers.  I love having them both home although to be honest I always feel a little anxious when Jack arrives as he will show you pretty quickly if he is in a good place or not.

Jared always walks in and starts his banter with Dave…..awight Dave, usually about the football and whether Spurs or Chelsea have won their last game.  This weekend Spurs play Chelsea so Jared says Dave will be crying buckets, although I am not sure this will be the result he so wants!  Jared then puts on his TV and will download a load of Only Fools and Horses programmes so that he can watch these non stop during the weekend.  He will also have his iPad running, often watching the same film clip on both his TV & his pad, oh and music playing on his radio too.

Jack usually rocks up a short time later and he first grabs the iPad demanding Motor Racing – one of his few words and once on the YouTube channel will then flick through all the films and clips he loves to watch.  Next he puts on his pyjama bottoms, he does like to strip naked usually in front of his bedroom window which is on the ground floor….oops, and then the TV also goes on and the first film to watch will be Dumbo.  This will be flicked back and forwards in 4 second bites via his remote and I think to date he has worn out over 20 TV and DVD players, at 27 he still loves watching the same clips over and over.   We have one other iPad and also a kindle so when the battery fails on one we are ready with another, this helps to keep him happy and I don’t know how we managed before these wonderful devices came along.

Jack also has an obsession with food, any food, and will raid the fridge if not monitored, he loves diet coke and salt and vinegar crisps so I always make sure that he has both when he arrives home.

When I cook, I have to cut up Jacks dinner as he cannot use a knife and fork preferring to use a spoon instead, I think this is so he can get as much in his mouth as possible.  Jared can use a knife and fork but we have to ensure that he has nothing green on his plate.  This obsession started about 18 months ago, previously he loved broccoli, sprouts, cabbage etc, but now will only eat vegetables that are not green and this obsession also extends to his clothes, books, and magazines.  Sometimes I forget and put a green place mat down for his meal, I then get Mum what have you done!!!!

Its usually a very chilled out weekend and I try to get Jack down on the beach every day, this has been the best thing since moving to the coast, as Jack adores the beach, and delights in walking with our dogs, usually Morgan holding his lead with his teddy Sweep.

Sadly some people just do not know how to be around disabled adults, only the other weekend a woman refused to walk past Jack on the beach saying to her friend “I am not going near that man, I don’t know what he will do to me or my dog”  and we have had similar responses from other people too.   I do understand that seeing a man nearly 6ft tall making noises and holding his teddy can be pretty ‘strange’ however why shouldn’t Jack be able to enjoy the beach like everyone else?  Family and friends know that I can get right in peoples faces explaining Jack has a disability and he has every right to be on the beach just as they have, however sadly Jack can read peoples body language and this often makes him very vocal making guttural sounds that can be very loud and becoming extremely anxious and will often go up to the person complaining by clapping in their face…… not good, but better than a thump.  Jack also says ‘cuss’ and when he uses this word we know he is swearing whether he is saying this to the people who have a problem with him or even to me I know he is actually saying Fuck Off!!

On Saturday afternoon, Jared takes great delight in giving us all the football scores – our very own Sky sports pundit and will rib Dave on how Spurs are doing.  Jared loves all sport whether its the cricket, boxing or WWE he will be watching it and giving us a constant update on whats going on.

The boys both need me to bath and shave them each morning and I have a great tip for Mums having to do this for their disabled sons.  When shaving them get a shaving brush and lather up the soap as this lifts the bristles and makes shaving so much easier on their faces and quicker too (thanks Dave for this great tip).  Once out of the bath its hand and toe nails trimming time.  Drugs follow this routine, Jack with his medication for depression and Jared’s drugs for his epilepsy.  Thankfully I no longer have to cut the boys hair as both have now managed to go to the barbers – always first thing in the morning when its quiet ensuring they do not have to wait….. queuing causes great anxieties.

The days seem to fly by as Jack constantly requires his iPad to be put back on YouTube – the problem is he sees adverts and flicks onto them but has not worked out how to get it back to the film clip he is watching as he is too impatient to watch me show him.  He also needs help changing his DVD which can be up to 20 times throughout the day and of course the endless drinks of juice.

Bed time is usually around 10pm, Jared is usually exhausted by then as the drugs he is on can make him rather sleepy.  Jack on the other hand will go to bed but not sleep until at least an hour later and we can often hear Lego flying around the room then giggling!  This is my favourite time of the day, not because they are finally going to bed but I have a routine with Jack that I have been doing since he was a toddler.  He does not like to be touched, unless he touches you, but when I put him to bed I pull the duvet tight across him then smother him in kisses, he laughs and giggles and this makes me so very happy.

On Sunday their Dad Roger arrives spending time with Jared and Jack and then whisks Jared off for lunch then taking him back to his house in Salfords, Reigate.  Unfortunately Jack will not get in a car with anyone but me since the accident in France, so Jack gets picked up by his care team late afternoon.

So what do I miss from my beautiful boys?

Never being asked to lend them £20 quid

Can I replace their mobile phone because they put the last one down the toilet

Mum, meet my new girlfriend

God I’m hungover, can you do me a bacon butty?

Can I borrow your car?

Do you want another glass of wine Mum?

I’ve got a new job

Mum, I love you